Sunday 19 May 2019

“Who Was That Girl?” By Guest Writer Kriquette Davis

Who Was That Girl?

In 2010, when I began this painful journey, I was very different form who I am today. I was trying to be everything I thought everyone wanted me to be. Best daughter, best sister, wife of the year, friend extraordinaire, Y superwoman…you get the picture. The truly sad thing was that I really thought that was what my life should be like. I dismissed the moments of anxiety, despair and hopelessness as just emotions you feel sometimes.

It was months into therapy when I was asked “who do you want to be?” I had no idea and didn’t even know where to start. With so many other complicated questions on my mind, I kept pushing it aside. I was grieving. My whole life had been a lie and that was hard to swallow. I was also very scared of what I might lose after going public with this information. I knew I didn’t have to, but something in my gut kept telling me “You have to share this with others! You can make something good out of this tragedy” So, I told my family first, my YMCA family second,  my friends third, and then began writing and speaking publicly about my story. Most times, I talk about prevention of child sexual abuse, share a video that has survivors telling their stories and I save mine for last. I do that because I want folks to listen to what we can do about the problem and hear about the devastation it has caused others. I tell my story so that there is a living, breathing person being completely transparent and vulnerable.  It’s not an easy story to tell. I have yet to tell the entire story, I’ve only been able to write it and share it that way. Writing it instead of telling it is sort of cowardly, but I do that because it is still very fresh to me and I sometimes have a hard time speaking the words. But I want folks to know what happened to me so that they can help our communities keep our children safe.

One of the worries I am having a hard time laying down is “how does this affect the way people view me in my role at the YMCA?” Does it make me seem weak? Does it discount my achievements? Do people worry about my emotional stability? I could give you questions upon questions that enter my mind. For some time now, it has subdued my willingness to share. Ephesians 2:10 says “God has made us what we are. In Christ Jesus, God made us new people so that we could do good works. God has planned in advance those good works for us. He had planned for us to live our lives doing them”. That was part of our sermon this week. It was right on time! I have been grappling with telling my story, making all kinds of excuses. I heard that and thought, “time to put on your big girl panties and do this” Pastor Jim shared “I can’t please God by sitting in the stands and I will stand before Him one day”  Which means to me that it’s time to stop making excuses as to why I am not sharing my story. God has given me the voice to speak for others that cannot speak for themselves.

I want to help others. I want to spare our children the devastation that comes along with child sexual abuse. I don’t doubt for one minute that is one of my God given talents..the ability to disciple to others about not only the affects of child sexual abuse, but how it can be prevented. Child sexual abuse is preventable. Our children deserve to grow up with their innocence intact. There are approximately 43 million survivors of child sexual abuse in the United States alone! That’s mind boggling. I will continue to tell my story. I will continue to advocate against child sexual abuse. I will be an encourager to survivors-that’s one of the most important things you can do for someone that has suffered abuse. Believe them, believe IN them and encourage them. Every survivor does not deal with their situation like I have. I’ve had many survivors say : “you are so much braver than I am” “your situation was worse” “I can’t talk about it like you do” etc..What I want all of you to know is that God is using you other means. No one is supposed to be alike. Romans 12:6 says “ We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us” and Matthew 25:15 “ To one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, to each according to his own ability”. Our gifts together can change things. Together we can protect our children and help our survivors. We can. But will you?

Guest contribution from Kriquette Davis, Associate Executive Director at the Goldsboro Family YMCA


One Comment

  1. Deborah says:

    You are doing a great work – both here in this publication and at the Y! I praise and thank God that you have allowed yourself to be the vessel and voice to advocate for the children. Thank you for saying yes to Him!!!!


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